Feeds:
Posts
Comments

The Qur’an Cleanses

An old American Muslim lived on a farm in the mountains of easternKentucky with his young grandson. Each morning Grandpa was up early

sitting at the kitchen table reading his Qur’an. His grandson wanted to

be just like him and tried to imitate him in every way he could.

One day the grandson asked, “Grandpa, I try to read the Qur’an just

like you but I don’t understand it, and what I do understand I forget

as soon as I close the book. What good does reading the Qur’an do? “The

Grandfather quietly turned from putting coal in the stove and replied,

“Take this coal basket down to the river and bring me back a basket of water.”

The boy did as he was told, but all the water leaked out before he got

back to the house. The grandfather laughed and said, “You’ll have to

move a little faster next time,” and sent him back to the river with

the basket to try again. This time the boy ran faster, but again the

basket was empty before he returned home. Out of breath, he told his

grandfather that it was impossible to carry water in a basket, and he went to get a bucket instead.

The old man said, “I don’t want a bucket of water; I want a basket of

watch the boy try again. At this point, the boy knew it was impossible,

but he wanted to show his grandfather that even if he ran as fast as he

could, the water would leak out before he got back to the house. The

boy again dipped the basket into river and ran hard, but when he

reached his grandfather the basket was again empty. Out of breath he

“See Grandpa, it’s useless!”“So you think it is useless?” The old man said, “Look at the basket.”

The boy looked at the basket and for the first time realized that the

basket was different. It had been transformed from a dirty old coal

basket and was now clean, inside and out. “Son, that’s what happens

when you read the Qur’an. You might not understand or remember

everything, but when you read it, you will be changed, inside and out.

Speeding

An older lady gets pulled over for speeding.Older Woman: “Is there a problem, Officer?”

Officer: “Ma’am, you were speeding.”

Older Woman: “Oh, I see.”

Officer: “Can I see your license please?”

Older Woman: “I’d give it to you but I don’t have one.”

Officer: “Don’t have one? ”

Older Woman: “Lost it, 4 years ago for drunk driving.”

Officer: “I see. Can I see your vehicle registration papers please?”

Older Woman: “I can’t do that.”

Officer: “Why not? ”

Older Woman: “I stole this car.

Officer: “Stole it? ”

Older Woman: “Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.”

Officer: “You what? ”

Older Woman: “His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you

want to see.”

The Officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car and

calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A

senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.

Officer 2: “Ma’am, could you step out of your vehicle please!” The

woman steps out of her vehicle.

Older woman: “Is there a problem sir?”

Officer 2: “One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car

and murdered the owner.”

Older Woman: “Murdered the owner?”

Officer 2: “Yes, would you open the trunk of your car, please.”

The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.

Officer 2: “Is this your car, ma’am?”

Older Woman: “Yes, here are the registration papers.” The officer is

quite stunned.

Officer 2: “One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving

license.”

The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a driver’s license and

hands it to the officer. The officer examines the license. He looks

quite puzzled.

Officer 2: “Thank you ma’am, one of my officers told me you didn’t have

a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up

the owner.”

Older Woman: “Bet the liar told you I was speeding, too.”

>

>Moral: Don’t mess with little old ladies

about mariage

-Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends. You order what you want then, when you see what the other person has, you wish you had ordered that.
-Man: Is there any way for long life?
Dr: Get married.
Man: Will it help?

Dr: No, but the thought of long life will never come.
-Why do couples hold hands during their wedding?
It’s a formality just like two boxers shaking hands before the fight begins!
-Wife: Darling today is our anniversary, what should we do?
Husband: Let us stand in silence for 2 minutes.
-It’s funny when people discuss Love Marriage vs Arranged.
It’s like asking someone, if suicide is better or being murdered.

-If u r married please ignore this msg,
for everyone else: Happy Independence Day
-There’s a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It’s called marriage.
-Girlfriends r like chocolates,
taste good anytime.
Lovers r like PIZZAS, Hot n spicy, eaten frequently.
Husbands r like Dal RICE, eaten when there’s no choice.
-Man receives telegram: Wife dead-should be buried or cremated?
Man: Don’t take any chances. Burn the body and bury the ash.
-Prospective husband: Do you have a book called ‘Man, The Master of Women’?
Salesgirl: The fiction department is on the other side, sir.
-Q: Why doesn’t law permit a man to marry a second woman?
A: Because as per law you cannot be punished twice for the same offence!

this is the gulf

* Local calls are free
* Petrol is cheaper than water, Payment for drainage too
* Any building construction finishes in 6 months
* Unqualified get more salary than Qualified
* Show-off matters more than real quality & performance
* Laborers are paid less than what they can earn back in their own country
* Companies can kick out their employees without any reason
* Wastas (recommendation) are more powerful than money
* Cleaners have more Wasta than officers
* Watchman has more Rights than the Building Owner
* Office boy & Drivers  have more influence on Boss than Manager
* Gulf climate changes so fast, in one hour u can see raining, dust storm, hot / humid / chilling weather
* Gulf is located in desert, still u find greenery everywhere
* If u can’t earn money in the Gulf, u can’t earn anywhere in the world
* In Gulf, time goes very fast, Friday to Friday comes u never know, its  sooo fast
* Every bachelor has a dream of getting married and buying a house in their home country. 
* U love your parents, friends, relatives 100 times more than when you were together
* Being at home is more painful than being at work
* A ladies hair saloon every 5 meters
* Food/Grocery delivery to the car
* A Starbucks every 10 meters
* Hard Rock Cafe with no alcohol
* A Shopping Mall located every 5km
* Highway lanes differentiated for slow & fast drivers
* Getting a license is more difficult than getting a car
* Smashed cars are more than bugs
* No Queues for women
TRAFFIC SIGNAL IN GULF:
* GREEN : Signal to go for Americans, Europeans  , Indians , Nepals,                         philipines, UAE ,Qatari   .
* YELLOW : Signal to go for Egyptians and Pakistanis
* RED : Signal to go for Kuwaitis, Saudis